[Ward: Private]
It feels almost strange to be back in London, even just for this short break. As if I'd just gotten back into the routine of school after Christmas, and then it's all changed again.

I almost told dad my secret everything the truth over breakfast this morning, but froze. I don't know why I'm nervous.
[/]

[Ward: Mundungus]
I think I'm going to tell dad. Help.
[/]

This time of year makes me think of my mother. She was Italian, and very devoutly Catholic. I remember very little of the services we used to attend in Italy, except that the churches were so beautiful there. I took the Underground to Clerkenwell today, thinking I'd visit St Peter's Italian Church, but when I got there I couldn't bring myself to go inside. I can't quite explain it, I suppose, just that I know I didn't belong there.

The trip wasn't entirely wasted, though, as I found a wonderful Italian bakery nearby. Mundungus, there is potica at home. At least, there is, assuming dad doesn't get to it first.

It seems that the castle has fallen into a lull- a tradition, perhaps, with the last dredges of wintertime and only the hints, teases, of springtime.

Harbinger
If the snowdrops are any indication, however, I think it will be here sooner than we realize!

[Ward: Mundungus]
How are you?  I feel like we haven't spoken in ages.
[/]

[Ward: Private]
I still cannot believe what happened on Valentine's Day.  Even now, knowing the culprit, doesn't make it any easier to swallow.  A fifth year, and already capable of such utter cruelty.  It's... disheartening, to say the least.  None of it was directed at me, of course, but all the same- if she'd known about me, about who I am... it could have been.

It is the first I've seen such violence against people like... well, like me.  I know that Cassandra had talked about it, before, but it never seemed real.  I suppose, in a way, I didn't believe her.  I didn't want to believe her.  Rose-colored glasses, yes, but they were comfortable.

I don't know where to go from here.
[/]

Springtime cannot come soon enough.

[Ward: Cassandra]
I just heard about what my brother did.  Perhaps it makes no difference now, but I am sorry, for him.  He had no right to confront you about any of it.  I never asked him to.  I never told him about you, at all.
[/]

[Ward: Private]
Mundungus is right- blood is thicker than water, and I am simply lucky that my blood approves of me.  She doesn't have that luxury, and I cannot blame her for it.

Nothing changes, and I'm a fool for thinking it ever will.
[/]

This weekend was an absolute wonder!  I think I used almost ten rolls of film, all together.  Here, then are my favorite two dozen (or a little less) shots...

( Hogsmeade Weekend, A Retrospective - Featuring: Sirius Black, Alice Chevalier, Glenda Chittock, Anabelle Dolohov, Lily Evans, Gladys Gudgeon, Gilderoy Lockhart, Cameron MacNeill, Saoirse Mullet, Cassandra Selwyn, Emmeline Vance, and Jo Wood )

Given the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend, if anyone would like to set aside some time with me for a photo shoot, just let me know!  (I know everyone is very busy replenishing their chocolate stockpiles and eating too many chips at the Fiddler's Bow, but all the same- the offer is there.)

Grace.
(It is easy to build up one's portfolio when one has such genuinely lovely and photogenic friends.)

[Ward: Private]
Cass, Sirius, Mundungus, Lin, Cameron, Pippa.  It's strange, it seems that the more people I tell, the easier it becomes.  I suppose it helps in that I haven't gotten a truly negative reaction so far, but... all the same.  It's... encouraging.

She said she misses me-
[/]

I had spoken of it before, but I think I will ask, officially: would anyone be interested in being photographed by me?  Whether you'd want a proper formal portrait, or something more casual and candid, I'd be open to any sort of shoot you wanted- I really just want to expand my skill set, especially with my new camera, and I would like to be able to take advantage of the castle and its denizens while I still can.

[Ward: Private]
Seventeen tomorrow.  An adult- even if it means little, within the walls of Hogwarts.  Especially when I still have another year and a half of schooling yet to complete.  Still, it feels... nice.  As if I've accomplished something, properly- even if I've done nothing except live, from day to day.
[/]

[Ward: Private]
( Mid-Term Marks )
[/]

Four O's and two E's.  I suppose that's nothing to be ashamed of.  I could have done-

I received a new camera for Christmas.  It was an anonymous gift (and a very generous one, at that), and I do not think it has left my hands for more than five minutes since then.  (It is tradition, for me, that the first photo on any roll of film is a self portrait.  Vain, perhaps, but I do not usually share them.)

Vanity.

London Snow

I think that these may be my very favorite sort of days.  Ones where it is simply me, my camera, and wherever I want the London Underground to take me. The city is busy with last-minute shoppers, but there's a sort of calm amidst all that buzzing around, too.  I suppose I don't know how to explain it, properly, but it is something that is undeniably home. Now, if only I knew my exam marks, it might just be a Happy Christmas after all!  (I know, I know, it won't be until Boxing Day before we get our marks sent.  A girl can dream.)

[Ward: Private]
ANCIENT RUNES - Written Exam - Monday, 12th - 9:00AM to 11:30AM
ARITHMANCY - Written Exam - Tuesday, 13th - 9:00AM to 11:30AM
CHARMS - Practical Exam - Wednesday, 14th - 9:00AM to 11:30AM
DEFENSE - Practical Exam - Thursday, 15th - 9:00AM to 11:30AM
POTIONS - Practical Exam - Tuesday, 20th - 9:00AM to 11:30AM
TRANSFIGURATION - Practical Exam - Wednesday, 21st - 9:00AM to 11:30AM

Dear sweet Rowena, save me.
[/]

I have six mid-term exams this year.  One exam every day except Friday and Monday.  I suppose I don't really need to sleep, right?

After Charms Club

[Ward: Not Slytherins; Mundungus Excepted] Sometimes I feel as if it would be nice to simply turn my mind off for a while.  An hour or two, even, just some brief moment when I wouldn't have to think or worry or doubt about anything. [/] [Ward: Private] I need to let it go.  To let her go.  It's over.  She made her decision, and I wasn't a part of it.  She chose hiding, lying, and unhappiness.  She chose them, she chose that life.   I have to stop thinking that I can win her back, that she might change her mind because of something inconsequential I say, because of some grass-is-greener anonymous soapboxing. I need to stop trying to be her friend. I have to stop thinking that I ever meant anything at all to her, or that I ever will again. I just need to stop my own heart.  She could.  Why can't I? [/]

Rah-rah-Ravenclaw!
Well played, both teams, and congratulations to Ravenclaw on the win!

I am looking forward to the bonfire tonight.  I love this sort of cool autumn weather, and being outside at nighttime always holds it's own sort of (please do pardon the pun) magic.

What a wonderful Halloween feast!  Some of the costumes were truly impressive; I cannot wait to see how all of my photographs from the evening have turned out.

[Ward: Cassandra]
I'm sure that it is none of my business, but I couldn't help but notice, and I'm curious-- why didn't you dress up, for the feast?  You do not have to answer.
[/]

[Ward: Private]
Anonymity could certainly prove dangerous, I think.  Though it's tempting, too.  Perhaps I'll wait to see how it works, with others first.
[/]

A quiet place.

[Ward: Not Slytherins; Cassandra & Mundungus Excepted] Five points is fair, especially considering the other totals.  I'm sorry to anyone that I disappointed with my actions the other day.  I never meant to act in any way unbecoming of a Prefect, like Professor Slughorn said.  I will do better from now on. In happier news, I've picked up a few pumpkins to carve for Monday!  I think I'll just set up camp in the Common Room in case anyone wants to join me. [/] [Ward: Lily Evans] Thank you for your help.  I hope that you haven't earned any extra ire for your trouble.  You really are a wonderful Head Girl. [/]

[Ward: Cassandra]
I do not need you to fight my battles for me, especially not if you're just like her truly believe that Sage Brown was in the right to insult Marlene so blatantly and without founding or remorse.  I took points from her because of what she did, not because of some imagined resentment to you.  But by all means, be loyal to them.  At least it would show you can be loyal to someone.
[/]

[Ward: Ravenclaws & Lily Evans]
I received an anonymous note this morning, warning me of some revenge plot against me by Sage Brown and/or other Slytherins, in retribution for my actions last night.  I've saved the note for the sake of evidence, but thought it ought to be reported to you as well, just in case.  I'm by no means calling for a preemptive strike, of course, I just didn't want to leave it be and say nothing.
[/]

[Ward: Private]
I'm not afraid of Sage Brown, and I'm not afraid of Slytherins.

Why does she feel the need to warn me?  Why is she pretending to care?
[/]

It's too quiet in the Ravenclaw dormitory, though I'm sure I'm awake earlier than most.  Thank Rowena that Professor Babbling gave us extra credit assignments, or I might be bored and more restless than usual.

Has anyone decided on their costumes for Halloween?  I haven't any idea, myself.

( Moira Fletcher! )